He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
