I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
