My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
