I haven't been this sober since birth.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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