Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
