My friends, they love my intelligence
My hand turned me down
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
