Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
