I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
