All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
