bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This house was built for laser tag.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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