You were right. It hurts to walk today.
please come you make the beer taste better
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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