I wanna bring you to show and tell
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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