chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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