Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
