I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Send help, water and tortillas.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
