I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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