she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
