just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
