I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
