No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
