I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize