Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
