So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
