I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
