I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
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you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
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when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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