YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
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at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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