I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
