HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
