A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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