...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
