It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why did my mother make you get naked?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
