glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
