Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
