i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
