i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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