Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
