OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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