two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
