fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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