i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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