I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize