I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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