there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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