**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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