that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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