at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
