this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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