I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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