i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
