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drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
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