saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
