She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life