Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
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So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor