Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.

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(651): drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then. http://tfl.nu/hp3p

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(651): View more from Minnesota

how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?

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(651): how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting? http://tfl.nu/ew93

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(253): View more from Washington

just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else

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(253): just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else http://tfl.nu/tjvf

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(314): View more from Missouri

i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating

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(314): i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating http://tfl.nu/x9qt

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(907): View more from Alaska

frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better

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(907): frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better http://tfl.nu/58yp

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

bitch

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(262): dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five (1-262): bitch http://tfl.nu/m1tn

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(512): View more from Texas

Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?

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(512): Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits? http://tfl.nu/6yhs

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(425): View more from Washington

i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house

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(425): i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house http://tfl.nu/3ff4

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(720): View more from Colorado

July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.

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(720): July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions. http://tfl.nu/elfr

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.

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(203): The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice. http://tfl.nu/qfp9

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(406): View more from Montana

I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.

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(406): I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation. http://tfl.nu/zwu5

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(573): View more from Missouri

I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.

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(573): I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles. http://tfl.nu/yuyj

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.

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(605): Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability. (1-605): Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit. http://tfl.nu/l83k

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(913): View more from Kansas

I feel like a color. Like a wavy color

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(913): I feel like a color. Like a wavy color http://tfl.nu/hgij

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(818): View more from California

idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations

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(818): idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations http://tfl.nu/k8zk

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