Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I like my sex mixed with concussions.

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  (858): I like my sex mixed with concussions. http://tfl.nu/qysd
  Replies (6) Good night (1105) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.

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  (623): I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again. http://tfl.nu/xgq4
  Replies (22) Good night (4187) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.

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  (802): elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze. http://tfl.nu/rr46
  Replies (27) Good night (5819) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.

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  (301): woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later. http://tfl.nu/zlbw
  Replies (3) Good night (4174) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.

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  (951): My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit. http://tfl.nu/s2aa
  Replies (33) Good night (10597) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.

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  (832): We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page. http://tfl.nu/lhck
  Replies (12) Good night (4383) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake

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  (270): no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake http://tfl.nu/nyba
  Replies (5) Good night (2408) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night

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  (818): Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night http://tfl.nu/1iuj
  Replies (6) Good night (912) Bad night (1803)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.

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  (901): Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on. http://tfl.nu/t92u
  Replies (12) Good night (2070) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!

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  (504): As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!! http://tfl.nu/d5pb
  Replies (18) Good night (3189) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.

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  (954): I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days. http://tfl.nu/jvfc
  Replies (1) Good night (949) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.

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  (936): The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant. http://tfl.nu/br3c
  Replies (7) Good night (1033) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.

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  (678): You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest. http://tfl.nu/fvym
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys

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  (226): He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys http://tfl.nu/z52q
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.

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  (702): I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get. http://tfl.nu/37ej
  Replies (0) Good night (566) Bad night (169)

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