I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face