Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.

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(347): View more from New York

alright she left, finally time to fart up the room

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.

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(786): View more from Florida

He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship

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(248): View more from Michigan

Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.

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(510): View more from California

I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard

(1-510): View more from California

Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from

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(813): View more from Florida

How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?

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