I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
We left the knife in your bed.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Those nachos came to me in a dream