I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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