I wanna passion pit in your ass
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
