my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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