We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
