I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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