Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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