We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Randomize
