All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize