Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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