...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
