I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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