Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
