what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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