I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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