That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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