apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
