yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
