Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
