I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
