somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
